Crimson's Musings

My name is Shelby Dotin and I’m a freshman in high school. At 14 years old I weigh about 192, I’m a size 14 US, and i have 38Ds. I’ve always struggled with my weight and been made fun of it for it. But after being teases constantly on a website called Formspring, I discovered I don’t need to listen to them. Because I am beautiful no matter what size I am. 

My weight does not define who I am as a person.

http://seeithroughmyeyes.tumblr.com/

I have met a lot of awesome people I probably never would have met or have been possible to meet via the internet. In the 15+ years I’ve been here I’ve begun to see more and more what I disliked about real life human interactions begin happening in a more frequent and vicious manner online.

How sad.
How shameful.
How disappointing.

Ugly behavior is ugly behavior no matter what form it’s created in…even if you live the life of a coward and refuse to sign your real name when you leave nuggets of idiocy for people to find. That alone should be a testament to the kind of person sitting behind the keyboard dealing out daggers. Daggers that one day will be returned as the Universe often returns to us (with interest) both the good and the bad we do along the way.

I’d offer up the notion of - if you wouldn’t say it out loud or in real life to a person, then why are you posting it online? But…I’ve heard people say such things in public to others with the intention to cause pain, so instead…

I wish for those who’ve lost the ability to empathize or have shunned the art of being human(e)…that they find their way and understand that we will have plenty of ‘jerk’ moments in life, but choosing to be one for the sake of being one and being unapologetic when you recognize someone was/got hurt - well, that just makes you an a$$hole.

Be one long enough and the only thing you have left is the crap you continue to serve…and that’s a foul dish served hot or cold. Nobody likes spending time with someone who spews it on a regular basis. Eventually you’ll find an entourage of one and I’ve heard word that it’s one of the loneliest numbers.

So…

Grow up.
Be humane.
And True Ugly is the kind that reveals itself in fugly words and actions.

For those on the crap end of  fugly actions: You’re beautiful, handsome, and full of awesomeness. The Fugly targets the amazing because they tend to be at odds with themselves and spend a lot of time keeping company with self loathing. I’m sorry you have to go through this pain. Never let the meaness of others define the who that you are or have the potential to become. Let your true friends and your family be your support. <3

- Angel (with an) a

…too bad though, I’m no Drew Barrymore and I can’t start fires with my mind. Although, in giving that a good hard thought, it’d probably be a lot safer if I could.

So, over the weekend the family and I celebrated my cousin’s birthday and they took us to this swank little tool store in the next city over. A tool store that had some pretty sweet deals. It’s one of those places where you do a lot of ‘oooohing’ and ‘aaaaaahing’ because the price alone will do that, but one if you wander the store long enough with said item in hand - you can talk yourself out of (maybe).

J and I had a lot of stuff we walked around the store with and the bulk of it we did put back. We try really hard to nix impulse buys because it can easily turn into a: Where’d all our money go? Scenario, which is not fun. However, the pencil torch made it out of the store.

It’s small. It’s compact. It’s re-usable. And I’m sure J and I can use it for 1001 purposes it was never intended to be used for (let’s hope we only attempt 5 off that list). What I charmingly said with a smile and a batting of lashes was: Oh, I can make Crème brûlée now, see.

Yeah…sure I can, but will I at home? Probably not.

It’s not that it won’t be used, because I’m sure it will, but not for any of the aforementioned kitchen appointments we had laid out for it. Though, we may surprise ourselves. What we’re hoping DOESN’T happen is that I wind up setting something I shouldn’t on fire. I have a penchant for using flames in projects and past entanglements have been near misses. 

I will say I come by it naturally. My Dad had a not too distant experience with his outdoor grill. The proof is in his eyebrows - the parts of them that still haven’t grown back well (if at all). Here’s hoping that once we take it out of the package and begin to use it…that all of our eyebrows stay intact…among other things.

So here’s to safety with fire…after all Smokey says only you can prevent forest fires…or fires in general. Ya get my drift, right?

- Sinjin Muse

[The above photo is part of the Self-portrait Project 365: #1]